God Can Use ANYONE, Even Me

I have been conflicted recently. I want to be a  leader for my College Ministry. It will take time and a lot of dedication from me. I know this. I just do not feel ready, but ready at the same time. As a servant of God, I know when He says go, I should go.

We have talked about Luke 1:39-56 in my small group and it was what my pastor spoke on today. It is a truly remarkable passage because an angel comes to Mary and says you are going to give birth to the Son of God. Mary was a virgin and engaged. Instead of saying no, my town will not believe that I am a virgin. I have a husband to be who will never marry me, I will be shunned. She said Yes. She said yes without doubting anything God's angel told her. She did not focus on herself, she focused on God. She also went to her cousin Elizabeth, who was much older. Even Elizabeth was going to have a baby despite her age. Both women were over joyed.

It is remarkable what God can do. In the Old Testament there is a book called Numbers. In Numbers Chapter 22, God uses a donkey to speak to Balaam. God also sends an angel to stop Balaam from going with the princes. The donkey saves Balaam's life. If God can use a farm animal, and make it speak the language we speak, I believe He could use me. "For Nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:38 NIV

I think I will take that Leadership role in my college ministry. I know it means staying where I am for college. It is not the end of the world if I do not get that International Business degree that I wanted. I can still work around the world, and still travel with out the word International on a piece of paper from a college.

For the moment I actually feel like I am following God's will. I just pray I am doing the right thing, and that I am doing it for God, not myself.

Scatter Brains After Finals & Other Random Adventures

Today is my last day that I have to take finals for my 1st semester in college. All I have to do is be at the Business School by 3pm, turn in my final, and I am done with my 1st semester! :) I am super excited!

I am still having some issues to deal with at college, but that is normal. I cannot possibly be everyones friend and not everybody is going to like me. That is a hard concept for me. I was not a "popular" kid in high school, but I was known around all grades. Teachers loved me, and I had an AWESOME group of friends who are still my good friends even though we are all at different colleges. :) I know that there were some girls that did not like me in high school or my church, but it did not bother me because I was happy with my support group. Now that my support group is not physically here, I feel like I have acquaintances on campus, not friends. It is just difficult because rumors are going around, and I cannot justify them because no one cares to listen to my side. Oh well, this is just the real world and I have to take a stance and show everyone who I am.

I apologize that I have not blogged recently, my life has been super stressful, but I am going to try to get better! :)

I am part of a college ministry called Ignite. They are such an awesome, Godly group of people to be around. It is comforting that I have friends who are now like a college youth group to me. Our  fearless leader....director.... asked me to be a leader next year. I have no idea if I am up for it, but I hope I choose the right decision. However, I intended to go transfer for Fall 2012...and if I want to be a leader in Ignite, I need to stay at the college that I am at. I wanted to transfer to pursue an International Business degree. But I am beginning to see that I like marketing. If I do stay to take on a leadership role I will plan on going into marketing.

I also have a friend in the hospital. He had a large non-cancerous mass removed from an area around is pancreas, he is getting better, but it is a slow process. So please say a prayer for my friend that he recovers quickly! :) Thanks!

Happy Veterans! & Make A Wish!!!

Thank You for all of those who have served & are serving our wounderful nation. :) & Don't forget to make your wish @ 11:11 on 11-11-11!!

It has been a great day. I went to help pick up cans for the Mobile Meals Food Drive. I also got lost..well turned around...A LOT!!! However, it was a big adventure! God is truly amazing and is working all around the place. You ask, and he gives, sometimes it's not exactly the way you want it to be, but it's not about you. It's all about him.
Happy Veterans! God Bless America!

Do Not Me Judge Before You Judge Yourself First

     This week has been an all time low( and I do not mean the band). I just feel like the whole world is against me. I am the kind of person that if you have a problem, take it up with me first. I do NOT want to hear your issues about ME from someone else. I am a confrontational person, but I think I know when it is appropriate or not to confront you for it(well...sometimes & others I am usually stunned to say anything at all)
    This is my 1st semester of my freshman year in college, and I can already say I have had one really bad living situation and a sorta not so fun one at times. I know it is a cliche, but everyone has that ONE bad roommate. I know that her problem was/is a legitimate issue, but I just think that its ironic that someone has issues with someone, when that other person has the same issues with you.

Golden Rule: Treat others like you wish to be treated.

     I am learning that college has no words to explain what you are going to go through mentally. It is a roller coaster of emotions. I am just super stressed, and feel like no one is on my side. I know I do need to invest in some friends on campus that have the same values and morals as I do. That will help, and then I will not be with everybody 24/7. I know I ask questions, but I do not think I am being nosy...I just feel like every action I do is followed by an interrogation. I do not get it.
   I know it is just a rough patch and tomorrow is new day! :) On the good note: It is less than a month until my brother is home from AIT at Fort Leonard Wood. :) YAY!!!
   Also I think I just need to learn some ways to act, think, and re-invent some things of myself and everything will get better. I just have to take this as a learning experience.

If stressed.....take a healthy dose of YOGA

I'm in college, and constantly on the move. I never stop. I wake up, go to class, eat breakfast, do homework due for my next class, eat lunch, then go to class, run back to my dorm, eat supper, do math homework, zumba if I can, take a shower, and finally collapse while I waste time on facebook. Then the cycle starts again. I am a hard-core procrastinator, and ALWAYS running late. Well it all needs to stop NOW.  Being stressed 99.9% of the time is not a way to live life. I snap randomly over stupid little things because it all builds up. Today in University 101 class, we had a stress management session....Yoga. I have never liked yoga. I thought it was a waste of time to turn my body into a pretzel, but today I embraced it on this very coudy, misty afternoon. All I have to say is.....It Worked. :) I feel so relaxed in the moment right now. It is definetly worth stepping out of your comfort zone to at least try for one session. :) You never know if you love something till you at least try it.

Why all of a sudden? & why now?

       I was the girl in high school that was blessed with a wonderful group of friends that were there for every smile & every tear. I always thought something was missing though, and that was a boyfriend. I wasn't desperate, but I was just sick & tired of everyone else having something that I couldn't quite grasp. (Now there were a couple moments of bliss, when I thought everything would be perfect..but that was always short lived.) I did get my first kiss, a handful of dates, & several really good guy friendships. I just couldn't understand why guys would say I was cute, pretty, etc. & not ask me on a date. My poor mom, she listened to countless stories of me whining about life. And looking back, I sounded pathetic, (but this isn't a self-bashing right now, just a reflection.) Every time she would give me advice, encouragement, & the truth. I now understand why people hate to see me, when they asked for advice. The truth hurts, but it is a lot easier to handle then having to lie and keep it straight. Maybe that was the reason I never walked around my small high school campus with a guy on my arm. I knew I was the girl in my group of friends that was not liked by their boyfriends/ best guy friends. It was because I didn't put up with the silly mind games, disrespect, & whatever else they tried to throw at me/my friends. I was told so many times to give them a chance, that I was the one who didn't understand.....umm, no, I understood exactly what was going on. But oh well, that's the past &  now I'm a freshman in college. :) Since graduating high school, I have had the most boy drama in the whole wide world. It's like all of a sudden, I was on the map. I feel so much like the players I would fall for in high school. I guess mentally in my head, I just keep telling myself that I was NOT a player, and hanging out with all these different guys was no big deal. So what, if most of them had a crush on me & wanted to make our friendship more than that?? It was a big deal to me because I don't want to lose friendships or make anyone feel the hurt I felt over something I accidentally did. Deep down, that is what I think makes me different from those players I fell for back in high school. I don't intentionally try to hurt anyone emotionally, so that is why I feel like I need to straighten myself out and get everything in check before I commit myself in to a relationship. And I know that that is fair, or at least it is to my standards. Plus, if that is what it takes for me to be fully committed and feel good in a relationship, I am willing to take the extra time to set it straight. SOoooooo yeah, that is my 2 cents about that, thanks for reading! :)