School Tomorrow

Sitting back in my dorm room with a cup of tea, I realize everything this past semester was not in vain. Going through it all, it sucked. Yet I am happy to see how it is helping shape my mindset for life and for this semester.

I am currently the single friend in my circle of friends from back home, and it has been a struggle. I have no idea why I'm consumed with the idea if I had a boyfriend that it would make me 100% happy. I want someone to go swing dancing with, to be there for me, to just have someone to live life with, and hold their hand. I just know that once I finally snag a good guy that it will make me so much more appreciative to have him.

I am just tired of people telling me how I should feel and how I should live my life. I'm aware of what I can handle. I especially appreciate it when someone tells me when I am in a low point that I don't know how to deal with it or that I am unreasonable. I'm learning to find the blessings of low points in my life. It is then when I realize that God is doing stuff in my life.

I am just learning that I need to focus on my campus ministry outreach, ending slavery, and my Fall 2013 study abroad. I'm taking everybody's doubt to fuel my passions in life. I want to be the generation that ends slavery. There are 27 million slaves into the world right now. I want to do something to stop it. http://enditmovement.com/ is what I learned about from Passion 2013. God turned my heart of stone into a heart of flesh there. It was so eye-opening. I cannot explain how God worked at Passion. It was amazing. One of my favorite parts was just being silent and hearing 60,000 plus college students sing, praise, worship God. It was a indescribable moment. To hear those students and be apart of the crowd that let out a "shout" which turned into a roar to end slavery. To hear 60,000 people sing to God above. It was a humbling experience that I am happy to be apart of the 268 generation.

xoxoxox
Ciao,
Sarah

New Start

colorful & cramped

My Desk

Second Semester of Freshman Year at College.

 2012, a new year, new beginning, whole new mindset...the mind set most take on at the beginning of the year.

I am super excited to start my classes tomorrow. I made sure I start my Mondays with my favorite subject: Spanish. I hope to wake up early and get stuff done, and look stunning walking into my first day of classes. Last semester was fun, but I felt like I was walking on to many eggshells. I tried to make it work, but it just did not work out. I am happily in my own single room, that is EXTREMELY small, and I think my clothes will soon storm out of the closet and claim more space.

 To all starting college I wish you the best & have the most fun as possible, but save time for school too. Best of Luck!! :)

God Can Use ANYONE, Even Me

I have been conflicted recently. I want to be a  leader for my College Ministry. It will take time and a lot of dedication from me. I know this. I just do not feel ready, but ready at the same time. As a servant of God, I know when He says go, I should go.

We have talked about Luke 1:39-56 in my small group and it was what my pastor spoke on today. It is a truly remarkable passage because an angel comes to Mary and says you are going to give birth to the Son of God. Mary was a virgin and engaged. Instead of saying no, my town will not believe that I am a virgin. I have a husband to be who will never marry me, I will be shunned. She said Yes. She said yes without doubting anything God's angel told her. She did not focus on herself, she focused on God. She also went to her cousin Elizabeth, who was much older. Even Elizabeth was going to have a baby despite her age. Both women were over joyed.

It is remarkable what God can do. In the Old Testament there is a book called Numbers. In Numbers Chapter 22, God uses a donkey to speak to Balaam. God also sends an angel to stop Balaam from going with the princes. The donkey saves Balaam's life. If God can use a farm animal, and make it speak the language we speak, I believe He could use me. "For Nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:38 NIV

I think I will take that Leadership role in my college ministry. I know it means staying where I am for college. It is not the end of the world if I do not get that International Business degree that I wanted. I can still work around the world, and still travel with out the word International on a piece of paper from a college.

For the moment I actually feel like I am following God's will. I just pray I am doing the right thing, and that I am doing it for God, not myself.

Scatter Brains After Finals & Other Random Adventures

Today is my last day that I have to take finals for my 1st semester in college. All I have to do is be at the Business School by 3pm, turn in my final, and I am done with my 1st semester! :) I am super excited!

I am still having some issues to deal with at college, but that is normal. I cannot possibly be everyones friend and not everybody is going to like me. That is a hard concept for me. I was not a "popular" kid in high school, but I was known around all grades. Teachers loved me, and I had an AWESOME group of friends who are still my good friends even though we are all at different colleges. :) I know that there were some girls that did not like me in high school or my church, but it did not bother me because I was happy with my support group. Now that my support group is not physically here, I feel like I have acquaintances on campus, not friends. It is just difficult because rumors are going around, and I cannot justify them because no one cares to listen to my side. Oh well, this is just the real world and I have to take a stance and show everyone who I am.

I apologize that I have not blogged recently, my life has been super stressful, but I am going to try to get better! :)

I am part of a college ministry called Ignite. They are such an awesome, Godly group of people to be around. It is comforting that I have friends who are now like a college youth group to me. Our  fearless leader....director.... asked me to be a leader next year. I have no idea if I am up for it, but I hope I choose the right decision. However, I intended to go transfer for Fall 2012...and if I want to be a leader in Ignite, I need to stay at the college that I am at. I wanted to transfer to pursue an International Business degree. But I am beginning to see that I like marketing. If I do stay to take on a leadership role I will plan on going into marketing.

I also have a friend in the hospital. He had a large non-cancerous mass removed from an area around is pancreas, he is getting better, but it is a slow process. So please say a prayer for my friend that he recovers quickly! :) Thanks!

Why all of a sudden? & why now?

       I was the girl in high school that was blessed with a wonderful group of friends that were there for every smile & every tear. I always thought something was missing though, and that was a boyfriend. I wasn't desperate, but I was just sick & tired of everyone else having something that I couldn't quite grasp. (Now there were a couple moments of bliss, when I thought everything would be perfect..but that was always short lived.) I did get my first kiss, a handful of dates, & several really good guy friendships. I just couldn't understand why guys would say I was cute, pretty, etc. & not ask me on a date. My poor mom, she listened to countless stories of me whining about life. And looking back, I sounded pathetic, (but this isn't a self-bashing right now, just a reflection.) Every time she would give me advice, encouragement, & the truth. I now understand why people hate to see me, when they asked for advice. The truth hurts, but it is a lot easier to handle then having to lie and keep it straight. Maybe that was the reason I never walked around my small high school campus with a guy on my arm. I knew I was the girl in my group of friends that was not liked by their boyfriends/ best guy friends. It was because I didn't put up with the silly mind games, disrespect, & whatever else they tried to throw at me/my friends. I was told so many times to give them a chance, that I was the one who didn't understand.....umm, no, I understood exactly what was going on. But oh well, that's the past &  now I'm a freshman in college. :) Since graduating high school, I have had the most boy drama in the whole wide world. It's like all of a sudden, I was on the map. I feel so much like the players I would fall for in high school. I guess mentally in my head, I just keep telling myself that I was NOT a player, and hanging out with all these different guys was no big deal. So what, if most of them had a crush on me & wanted to make our friendship more than that?? It was a big deal to me because I don't want to lose friendships or make anyone feel the hurt I felt over something I accidentally did. Deep down, that is what I think makes me different from those players I fell for back in high school. I don't intentionally try to hurt anyone emotionally, so that is why I feel like I need to straighten myself out and get everything in check before I commit myself in to a relationship. And I know that that is fair, or at least it is to my standards. Plus, if that is what it takes for me to be fully committed and feel good in a relationship, I am willing to take the extra time to set it straight. SOoooooo yeah, that is my 2 cents about that, thanks for reading! :)