School Tomorrow

Sitting back in my dorm room with a cup of tea, I realize everything this past semester was not in vain. Going through it all, it sucked. Yet I am happy to see how it is helping shape my mindset for life and for this semester.

I am currently the single friend in my circle of friends from back home, and it has been a struggle. I have no idea why I'm consumed with the idea if I had a boyfriend that it would make me 100% happy. I want someone to go swing dancing with, to be there for me, to just have someone to live life with, and hold their hand. I just know that once I finally snag a good guy that it will make me so much more appreciative to have him.

I am just tired of people telling me how I should feel and how I should live my life. I'm aware of what I can handle. I especially appreciate it when someone tells me when I am in a low point that I don't know how to deal with it or that I am unreasonable. I'm learning to find the blessings of low points in my life. It is then when I realize that God is doing stuff in my life.

I am just learning that I need to focus on my campus ministry outreach, ending slavery, and my Fall 2013 study abroad. I'm taking everybody's doubt to fuel my passions in life. I want to be the generation that ends slavery. There are 27 million slaves into the world right now. I want to do something to stop it. http://enditmovement.com/ is what I learned about from Passion 2013. God turned my heart of stone into a heart of flesh there. It was so eye-opening. I cannot explain how God worked at Passion. It was amazing. One of my favorite parts was just being silent and hearing 60,000 plus college students sing, praise, worship God. It was a indescribable moment. To hear those students and be apart of the crowd that let out a "shout" which turned into a roar to end slavery. To hear 60,000 people sing to God above. It was a humbling experience that I am happy to be apart of the 268 generation.

xoxoxox
Ciao,
Sarah

Home

Back at mi casa. I love not having school, but there is not as much freedom as there is at school at home. I do enjoy seeing my mom and my brother. However dealing with Christmas shoppers at work can wear a person down. I finally get to take time and play with paint and ribbon. It makes me so happy to create things. I passed my Macro class. Which I am stoked about! I feel like God is changing my heart right now. I cannot wait to see what will come of this, but I know that if I can put my trust in him I'll be okay. Ever since I have been home, I have felt like it's been a party of one. Nothing wrong with that, but I don't feel like everyone is on the same page with me. I have started to outgrow some friends, and that is difficult. I know amazing things will come out of this. I just have to find comfort in that.

Ciao!
xoxoxoxo
Sarah

Life is Such a Beautiful World Wind

I could not be happier. Everything that made me feel as if I were drowning this semester has come full circle. I am at awe, and could not be more delighted on how much God has been doing this semester. I would do it all over tomorrow to be at the point where I am today. The tears are of pure happiness and surrender. I could not be more thrilled with the thoughts in my head.

I think I am suppose to be a missionary. My old advisor laid out a lifestyle for me. I did not like it at all. I do not want to work in a local & international company down the road for the rest of my life. I don't want missions to be just a summer project. I want it to be a lifestyle, exactly how it should be. I am aware that I could do this and work a job as well. I love the business world. It is an element of mine, but I love all the children that steal my heart. I love speaking Spanish, and seeing people's eyes light up.

I have talked to so many people recently at the place where I go swing dancing. Most of them want to be missionaries too. I love watching them talk about where their heart is at. I can relate to them when words cannot explain their thoughts on it all. I truly wish I could express the feeling and thoughts, yet there are simply no words.

 I have taken on this mind set of peacefulness. It is calming, and everything feels right. I have re-evaluated my friendships with people. I try to not grumble when people want me to listen because I realize that there is comfort in having someone to listen. Even if you don't take the advice.

I spent my late afternoon to mid evening sitting in a coffee shop today. I wanted to get out of my dorm,  and I felt like I just needed to go to this coffee shop. I talked to many different customers and staff. It was nice just being present and interacting with the people around me. I wish more people would speak to those around them. A common thing I have been getting recently is that I remind people of someone they know. I wish I could meet the person everyone thinks I am. I kind of regret not eating a real meal for supper. I had 2 cups of coffee and a cupcake.

I am ecstatic. I cannot wish for anything more perfect than the thought of being able to make missions a lifestyle. I do doubt it a little, but it goes away. I start to think about my family and friends, but I know it won't be a goodbye for forever. Plus I like planes, and I know I can always fly home if I ever need to do so.

Finals are coming up this week, so prayers would be greatly appreciated for everyone! :)

Thanks!
xoxoxoxo
Sarah

My Week is Over, Finally

If it could somehow go wrong this week it has. Yet, I know that some people in this world have it way worse. I have a car, a house, a nice warm bed, and a nice place to further my education. Many don't get opportunities like this. I am thankful and blessed. I live a life that many dream of, when I turn around and dream of a better life.

Ignite is working on filling our School's Food Pantry (SNAC) for the college students who are homeless or need help having enough food. My small group went and picked up bags in a neighborhood today. There were a good few who had food for us to take back, but I'm amazed how much food people gave out of the ones we picked up. It will help SNAC out a lot, especially with Christmas & Thanksgiving right around the corner.

I'm overwhelmed with school and personal issues. I think the main thing I'm trying to grasp is how to not be everyone's therapist. I love listening to others, and helping them out. I just have hit a wall. I honestly do care for all the people I talk to; however, I feel as if I need someone to talk to too. I feel as if I am barely together right now. I can barely think, and tears will come. I don't like feeling this way at all. I know everything will be okay, and I know that it is completely normal to not be happy 100% of the time. There has just been a lot of stuff happen in one week. I just want things to be back to normal with me. It will all happen over time. Nothing that I can't handle. God is still encouraging me. The other day I came back from work, and had to go print something when I arrived back on campus. So I was walking and texting (so looking down) through one of the buildings, and I almost walked right into a big white board sign. I giggled because if I had actually walked into that thing...I would have died laughing. I did meet a freshman business major out of it. His name was Matt. So always networking...life of a business major.

*inserting more life problems mentally*

I am thankful for my:
Family, Friends, Jobs, Education, Sunshine, Oxygen, Loving God, struggles, Kleenex Tissues (I'm suffering from sinuses/allergies), Puppies, Art, Freedom of Religion & Speech, all my amazing opportunities to meet new people and see new places, a fully functioning brain, a warm bed, heat, and my wonderful life...even when I think I can't go on. God gives me the strength to carry on. I am thankful for that the most.

xoxoxo
Ciao.
Sarah

Hello, Long Time No See

SO sophomore year has already started, and I am more than halfway through this semester. Time is a funny little thing, and I swear it keeps getting faster.

At this step in my life, I feel as if it's confusing. This past week has been full of struggles from emotional, physical, and financial. (However that is the life of a College Kid with their heart on their sleeve)
I am learning my place in the "friend zone." It is all fun and games until either person forgets their place. Especially when the guy has a girlfriend. I'm so scared that I am going to mess something up. However, I am being a friend while being cautious, as I should.

I am just thanking God that I have these struggles. Even when answering the question "Are you okay?" or "Is everything fine?" may seem redundant, I am just happy that I have struggles to make me grow as a person. It may not be fun at this exact moment, but I can guarantee I am going to laugh when I see the bigger picture. I know God had a sense of humor because of my week though. Just the random things that have happened after I feel like I can't go anymore, He gives me something to make me smile and encourage me. I live a blessed life too because somewhere someone is having a week worse than mine.

Don't forget about Daylight Savings!!!

xoxoxo Ciao.
Sarah

God Can Use ANYONE, Even Me

I have been conflicted recently. I want to be a  leader for my College Ministry. It will take time and a lot of dedication from me. I know this. I just do not feel ready, but ready at the same time. As a servant of God, I know when He says go, I should go.

We have talked about Luke 1:39-56 in my small group and it was what my pastor spoke on today. It is a truly remarkable passage because an angel comes to Mary and says you are going to give birth to the Son of God. Mary was a virgin and engaged. Instead of saying no, my town will not believe that I am a virgin. I have a husband to be who will never marry me, I will be shunned. She said Yes. She said yes without doubting anything God's angel told her. She did not focus on herself, she focused on God. She also went to her cousin Elizabeth, who was much older. Even Elizabeth was going to have a baby despite her age. Both women were over joyed.

It is remarkable what God can do. In the Old Testament there is a book called Numbers. In Numbers Chapter 22, God uses a donkey to speak to Balaam. God also sends an angel to stop Balaam from going with the princes. The donkey saves Balaam's life. If God can use a farm animal, and make it speak the language we speak, I believe He could use me. "For Nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:38 NIV

I think I will take that Leadership role in my college ministry. I know it means staying where I am for college. It is not the end of the world if I do not get that International Business degree that I wanted. I can still work around the world, and still travel with out the word International on a piece of paper from a college.

For the moment I actually feel like I am following God's will. I just pray I am doing the right thing, and that I am doing it for God, not myself.

Happy Veterans! & Make A Wish!!!

Thank You for all of those who have served & are serving our wounderful nation. :) & Don't forget to make your wish @ 11:11 on 11-11-11!!

It has been a great day. I went to help pick up cans for the Mobile Meals Food Drive. I also got lost..well turned around...A LOT!!! However, it was a big adventure! God is truly amazing and is working all around the place. You ask, and he gives, sometimes it's not exactly the way you want it to be, but it's not about you. It's all about him.
Happy Veterans! God Bless America!