Life at this moment

I go to Passion in two days! I am so excited! :)
My life has been a chaotic downward spiral I feel. Yet I am beginning to see the horizon. It will be all better in a couple of days. I just need to fling myself into God. My heart has felt so dark and lost. It is a weird feeling to actually feel the presence of your heart again. I know I will be myself again.

I am just at a loss of the people around me. I know they are trying to help, but I am struggling with that.

But Passion is a couple of days away. I get to see a new change in scenery and I know that will help me realize how I need to change.

xoxoxo
Sarah

Home

Back at mi casa. I love not having school, but there is not as much freedom as there is at school at home. I do enjoy seeing my mom and my brother. However dealing with Christmas shoppers at work can wear a person down. I finally get to take time and play with paint and ribbon. It makes me so happy to create things. I passed my Macro class. Which I am stoked about! I feel like God is changing my heart right now. I cannot wait to see what will come of this, but I know that if I can put my trust in him I'll be okay. Ever since I have been home, I have felt like it's been a party of one. Nothing wrong with that, but I don't feel like everyone is on the same page with me. I have started to outgrow some friends, and that is difficult. I know amazing things will come out of this. I just have to find comfort in that.

Ciao!
xoxoxoxo
Sarah

Peter Plays the Piano

I got to meet a charming young man this morning while I was out running errands. Peter Rosset is an amazing piano player. His favorite composer is Mozart. He has a Youtube Channel with videos of him playing. His username is Rosset4Music. Peter has a big heart. He is a pleasure to talk to. He told me he wanted 1,000,000 views for Christmas. Please go check him out!!! :)

https://www.youtube.com/user/rosset4music

Thanks!
Ciao.
xoxoxoxo
Sarah

It's only Tuesday

I just want this week to be over with. I'm stressing about exams, and everything seems to be right in front of my face mocking me. It sucks, I am not going to lie. However, I know I am going to learn something from this all. Everything will all be okay once I figure out my thoughts.

Ciao
xoxoxoxo
Sarah



***UPDATE***

I just got back from playing Night Tennis with my best friend. Everything goes back to normal when you are in sync with your best friend. I am so happy and blessed to have a wonderful friend in my life.

Life is Such a Beautiful World Wind

I could not be happier. Everything that made me feel as if I were drowning this semester has come full circle. I am at awe, and could not be more delighted on how much God has been doing this semester. I would do it all over tomorrow to be at the point where I am today. The tears are of pure happiness and surrender. I could not be more thrilled with the thoughts in my head.

I think I am suppose to be a missionary. My old advisor laid out a lifestyle for me. I did not like it at all. I do not want to work in a local & international company down the road for the rest of my life. I don't want missions to be just a summer project. I want it to be a lifestyle, exactly how it should be. I am aware that I could do this and work a job as well. I love the business world. It is an element of mine, but I love all the children that steal my heart. I love speaking Spanish, and seeing people's eyes light up.

I have talked to so many people recently at the place where I go swing dancing. Most of them want to be missionaries too. I love watching them talk about where their heart is at. I can relate to them when words cannot explain their thoughts on it all. I truly wish I could express the feeling and thoughts, yet there are simply no words.

 I have taken on this mind set of peacefulness. It is calming, and everything feels right. I have re-evaluated my friendships with people. I try to not grumble when people want me to listen because I realize that there is comfort in having someone to listen. Even if you don't take the advice.

I spent my late afternoon to mid evening sitting in a coffee shop today. I wanted to get out of my dorm,  and I felt like I just needed to go to this coffee shop. I talked to many different customers and staff. It was nice just being present and interacting with the people around me. I wish more people would speak to those around them. A common thing I have been getting recently is that I remind people of someone they know. I wish I could meet the person everyone thinks I am. I kind of regret not eating a real meal for supper. I had 2 cups of coffee and a cupcake.

I am ecstatic. I cannot wish for anything more perfect than the thought of being able to make missions a lifestyle. I do doubt it a little, but it goes away. I start to think about my family and friends, but I know it won't be a goodbye for forever. Plus I like planes, and I know I can always fly home if I ever need to do so.

Finals are coming up this week, so prayers would be greatly appreciated for everyone! :)

Thanks!
xoxoxoxo
Sarah

My Week is Over, Finally

If it could somehow go wrong this week it has. Yet, I know that some people in this world have it way worse. I have a car, a house, a nice warm bed, and a nice place to further my education. Many don't get opportunities like this. I am thankful and blessed. I live a life that many dream of, when I turn around and dream of a better life.

Ignite is working on filling our School's Food Pantry (SNAC) for the college students who are homeless or need help having enough food. My small group went and picked up bags in a neighborhood today. There were a good few who had food for us to take back, but I'm amazed how much food people gave out of the ones we picked up. It will help SNAC out a lot, especially with Christmas & Thanksgiving right around the corner.

I'm overwhelmed with school and personal issues. I think the main thing I'm trying to grasp is how to not be everyone's therapist. I love listening to others, and helping them out. I just have hit a wall. I honestly do care for all the people I talk to; however, I feel as if I need someone to talk to too. I feel as if I am barely together right now. I can barely think, and tears will come. I don't like feeling this way at all. I know everything will be okay, and I know that it is completely normal to not be happy 100% of the time. There has just been a lot of stuff happen in one week. I just want things to be back to normal with me. It will all happen over time. Nothing that I can't handle. God is still encouraging me. The other day I came back from work, and had to go print something when I arrived back on campus. So I was walking and texting (so looking down) through one of the buildings, and I almost walked right into a big white board sign. I giggled because if I had actually walked into that thing...I would have died laughing. I did meet a freshman business major out of it. His name was Matt. So always networking...life of a business major.

*inserting more life problems mentally*

I am thankful for my:
Family, Friends, Jobs, Education, Sunshine, Oxygen, Loving God, struggles, Kleenex Tissues (I'm suffering from sinuses/allergies), Puppies, Art, Freedom of Religion & Speech, all my amazing opportunities to meet new people and see new places, a fully functioning brain, a warm bed, heat, and my wonderful life...even when I think I can't go on. God gives me the strength to carry on. I am thankful for that the most.

xoxoxo
Ciao.
Sarah

I May Not Know Where I'm Going, But the View is Nice

Surrounded by so much stuff, I feel as if I can write it out that I will be somehow better. So ta-da, here I am. Today I went to the Mint Museum in Charlotte, NC. It was amazing. I love art, and wish I were that talented. However, I like my talents. I may not even know them all, but I am thankful for learning more about myself everyday.

Something I am learning is patience. It is difficult, yet it is something I should learn for every situation that I must face. It is a challenge, especially when I cannot see the big picture or the outcome. I am used to a set goal, and a plan on how to get it.

I am also learning that I know a lot of people can see my whole life via Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, Blogspot, Instagram, and other misc. websites. Nothing bad, but I just have to be aware that tabs are being kept on me. I have just hit roadblocks because sometimes I feel like posting something when I shouldn't. It's never something bad, but it usually is something for me to express the emotion I am feeling. I just don't want to post something that would make life difficult for someone else. I think that is something that most do not think about anymore. We really should censor our thoughts on the Internet. Every tweet, blog, status, and whatever else is posted on this worldwide web can and is used to judge us. Many people don't get certain jobs because of what they post on the Internet. I also have to be aware that many of the kids from my youth group at church, coworkers, managers, and important role models read what I post.

However, I am stressed out. There are never enough hours in a day or seconds in a minute for me day. So I stay up late, but regardless that would most likely happen. This semester is totally different than my freshman fall semester. This year there is still drama, but a different kind. I am happy that at least it is different. My classes are slightly harder, but I know where to turn to get help. I just hit roadblocks with my professors at times.

I will say that in all of the chaos, I have gotten deeper and stronger in my faith. That is the main thing in this all. Learning to just 100% trust God. It will all be okay.

xoxoxo
Ciao.
-Sarah