Do Not Me Judge Before You Judge Yourself First

     This week has been an all time low( and I do not mean the band). I just feel like the whole world is against me. I am the kind of person that if you have a problem, take it up with me first. I do NOT want to hear your issues about ME from someone else. I am a confrontational person, but I think I know when it is appropriate or not to confront you for it(well...sometimes & others I am usually stunned to say anything at all)
    This is my 1st semester of my freshman year in college, and I can already say I have had one really bad living situation and a sorta not so fun one at times. I know it is a cliche, but everyone has that ONE bad roommate. I know that her problem was/is a legitimate issue, but I just think that its ironic that someone has issues with someone, when that other person has the same issues with you.

Golden Rule: Treat others like you wish to be treated.

     I am learning that college has no words to explain what you are going to go through mentally. It is a roller coaster of emotions. I am just super stressed, and feel like no one is on my side. I know I do need to invest in some friends on campus that have the same values and morals as I do. That will help, and then I will not be with everybody 24/7. I know I ask questions, but I do not think I am being nosy...I just feel like every action I do is followed by an interrogation. I do not get it.
   I know it is just a rough patch and tomorrow is new day! :) On the good note: It is less than a month until my brother is home from AIT at Fort Leonard Wood. :) YAY!!!
   Also I think I just need to learn some ways to act, think, and re-invent some things of myself and everything will get better. I just have to take this as a learning experience.

If stressed.....take a healthy dose of YOGA

I'm in college, and constantly on the move. I never stop. I wake up, go to class, eat breakfast, do homework due for my next class, eat lunch, then go to class, run back to my dorm, eat supper, do math homework, zumba if I can, take a shower, and finally collapse while I waste time on facebook. Then the cycle starts again. I am a hard-core procrastinator, and ALWAYS running late. Well it all needs to stop NOW.  Being stressed 99.9% of the time is not a way to live life. I snap randomly over stupid little things because it all builds up. Today in University 101 class, we had a stress management session....Yoga. I have never liked yoga. I thought it was a waste of time to turn my body into a pretzel, but today I embraced it on this very coudy, misty afternoon. All I have to say is.....It Worked. :) I feel so relaxed in the moment right now. It is definetly worth stepping out of your comfort zone to at least try for one session. :) You never know if you love something till you at least try it.

Why all of a sudden? & why now?

       I was the girl in high school that was blessed with a wonderful group of friends that were there for every smile & every tear. I always thought something was missing though, and that was a boyfriend. I wasn't desperate, but I was just sick & tired of everyone else having something that I couldn't quite grasp. (Now there were a couple moments of bliss, when I thought everything would be perfect..but that was always short lived.) I did get my first kiss, a handful of dates, & several really good guy friendships. I just couldn't understand why guys would say I was cute, pretty, etc. & not ask me on a date. My poor mom, she listened to countless stories of me whining about life. And looking back, I sounded pathetic, (but this isn't a self-bashing right now, just a reflection.) Every time she would give me advice, encouragement, & the truth. I now understand why people hate to see me, when they asked for advice. The truth hurts, but it is a lot easier to handle then having to lie and keep it straight. Maybe that was the reason I never walked around my small high school campus with a guy on my arm. I knew I was the girl in my group of friends that was not liked by their boyfriends/ best guy friends. It was because I didn't put up with the silly mind games, disrespect, & whatever else they tried to throw at me/my friends. I was told so many times to give them a chance, that I was the one who didn't understand.....umm, no, I understood exactly what was going on. But oh well, that's the past &  now I'm a freshman in college. :) Since graduating high school, I have had the most boy drama in the whole wide world. It's like all of a sudden, I was on the map. I feel so much like the players I would fall for in high school. I guess mentally in my head, I just keep telling myself that I was NOT a player, and hanging out with all these different guys was no big deal. So what, if most of them had a crush on me & wanted to make our friendship more than that?? It was a big deal to me because I don't want to lose friendships or make anyone feel the hurt I felt over something I accidentally did. Deep down, that is what I think makes me different from those players I fell for back in high school. I don't intentionally try to hurt anyone emotionally, so that is why I feel like I need to straighten myself out and get everything in check before I commit myself in to a relationship. And I know that that is fair, or at least it is to my standards. Plus, if that is what it takes for me to be fully committed and feel good in a relationship, I am willing to take the extra time to set it straight. SOoooooo yeah, that is my 2 cents about that, thanks for reading! :)